DEPT OF OPPROBRIUM: Q and Sports and I

Some of you may have caught my letter yesterday (see below) on CBC radio’s Q, where I (ever so gently) criticized the shows producers for the creation of a new segment devoted to sports. –

I would like to apologize to any listeners  I may have offended with my remarks. My aim was to question the show’s producers for the decision to create a new segment devoted to sports, which I believed was a bit of a stretch for the show’s traditional mandate. After all, the sports section in any newspaper is kept separate from the Arts and Culture section and there is no shortage of play for sports news in the media.

My main mistake, I realize, is that I came off as speaking on behalf of the entire Q listenership; that by claiming that they were like me -  skinny armed, fine boned, daydreamers, with the reflexes of a koala bear – I may have inadvertently offended a not-so small portion of the audience who appreciate both sports and the arts.

Let me be more clear: it is I who doesn’t really appreciate both sports and the arts.

I should have mentioned of course that there are plenty of artists out there who love and follow sports, as well as athletes who paint; and that I myself like to play, on occasion, what could be called a reasonable imitation of soccer, tennis, or road hockey.

Still though, if the reality remains as it seems – that the jocks and their admirers still outnumber the wimpy and the disinterested, and that the sports-fan’s voice is still the loudest one in the room – then I am glad I spoke up.

Our numbers may be smaller than I had imagined but I know that there are more than a few like me out there. Those of us who must continue to feign interest in draft picks, who will lose our friends each year to another playoff season, and who are forced, all through life, to make excuses as to why we never caught the score of last night’s big game.

I know that there are more of you out there my non-sports fans. I want you to know, that the next time you’re standing in right-field with the crowd roaring, and a mysterious white object drops from the sky beside you and snaps you out of your thoughts, just remember that though you may be outnumbered, you are not alone.

P.S. Keep the segment Jian, if it ever goes I know that I will be blamed for it.

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For the Record: The aired version of the letter — Which was edited down from the original.

Consider for a moment that most of your listening audience has likely spent much of their lives actually trying to avoid sports — their artistic limbs and day-dreaming minds not being attributes that lend themselves well to a game of tackle football.

Long after the wasted hours in mandatory gym classes, this audience was probably more inclined to watch a rerun of Seinfeld than catch the latest game on TV. Perhaps because sports broadcasters, as a rule, tend have that very distinctive Sportsman voice –the one that’s too loud and reminds you of that guy who flushed your wallet down the toilet in seventh grade.

We, your average listener, are Lit students and cinephiles, introverts and cat-people!

It’s not that we don’t like sports per say, (personally speaking I do own at least one pair of tennis socks), but it’s just that we’re probably not the types of people who actually read the sports section or follow sports news.

OK, maybe it’s wrong to keep the cats and the dogs separate. Maybe if we’re brought together we can start to understand each other and save a few wallets in grade seven. Perhaps you’re trying to forge a better world by getting both sides to work together. But then again, maybe that sort of thing just doesn’t work.